Experiments
by abesgoldenfriend
Summary: Artemis and Butler went missing. They're back. Why can't they go home? Why are people chasing them? What did Artemis do this time? Foaly has found a secret organashion, but what does it have to do with Artemis? After TAC.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Artemis Fowl, nor do I claim to 

**55555**

"Mother, I'm with Butler. I'll be alright."

Butler never remembered pitying Artemis Fowl, but he couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him. He was glad that he didn't have to explain to his mother why he couldn't return home.

"No, Mother. I'm not in any trouble."

Butler could imagine what Angeline would say next. It's probably along the lines of: _If you're not in trouble then why can't you come home?_

"I can't tell you. Just know that I'm safe."

_Promise me you will come home soon?_

Artemis' head was lowered, but Butler could see a small tear run down his face. "I can't." He didn't give her the chance to talk. It would have been too hard then. "I love you, Mother. Mum."

As soon as he got off of the phone he went to his laptop, making them undetectable by technology. Butler would have been happy simply throwing the electronics out the window, but he didn't say anything, and kept driving. Soon Artemis' head appeared between the two front seats. He held out his hand. Butler didn't pretend that he didn't know what Artemis wanted.

As Butler handed Artemis handed his phone it rung. Artemis and Butler exchanged a glance.

Artemis studied the caller id. "Here, it's Juliet."

Butler looked at the phone. "Do you think that it's safe?"

"If I got the chance to talk to Mother then you deserve to talk to Juliet." Artemis leaned back, but sat on the edge of his seat. "Also I need you to ask Juliet how on Earth girls wear these 'skinny jeans'." He shifted uncomfortably. "And I thought male jeans were uncomfortable," he muttered under his breath. Butler let out a small snort of laughter, and turned around to look at his charge.

Artemis sat there in skinny jeans, light pink ballerina flats, thick rimed rectangle glasses, multiple tank tops, with a loose shirt over that, and a think grey cotton jacket that did absolutely nothing to keep out the heat. After they escaped they figured that it was smarter for Artemis to pose as a girl rather than a boy. Also whatever they did to Artemis made his hair had grown three times its original length.

Butler, on the other hand, was dress in men's jeans and a Hawaiian shirt. He was posing as Artemis' father. Artemis and Butler didn't look much like each other, but their eye color was similar enough for them to be conserved related. They should be alright long as they stayed away from geneticists.

Butler answered the phone, putting it on speakerphone and setting it between himself and Artemis, bracing himself for the yelling that was coming, and sure enough he got it.

"Dom! What the Hell? I've got Angeline calling me in the middle of the night asking if I've seen you guys! She sounds hysterical! What the Hell is going on?" Then she noticed that he wasn't talking. "Dom? Is everything alright?"

Butler sighed. "No. We're not alright." After hearing Juliet's gasp he hurried. "We aren't hurt, but we can't come home for a while."

"What did Artemis do this time?"

Artemis bristled. "I didn't do anything. Things just keep happening to me."

"Says the boy that kidnapped a fairy, rescued his father from the mafia, almost got my brother killed, got us mind wiped, brought down Opal Koboi, disappeared for three years, went back in time to battle your younger self, went insane, and got un-insane."

Artemis raised an eyebrow, not that Juliet could see. "'got un-insane?' You sound like Mulch."

"Hey! You aren't being very smart right now either. You're talking about fairies on speakerphone."

"The only person who can hack into Butler's cellphone is Foaly, and only if I let him."

Juliet snorted. "I know. Smarty Arty is _all _over this."

Artemis opened his mouth to snap something at her when Butler growled. Both Juliet and Artemis' eyes went wide at the sound. It wasn't human. It was a grizzly bear after someone had tried to mess with her cubs.

"Both of you _please _be quiet," he snapped. Artemis stared at his bodyguard while Juliet almost dropped the phone.

"Brother, are you alright?" Juliet's voice was full of worry. After all it wasn't normal for ones siblings to make animal noises.

Butler rubbed his head. "Yes. I just have a really bad headache, and you two were not making it any better."

Artemis nodded, while Juliet made a small noise of agreement. Butler sighed.

"Look, Jules, we really need to go."

"Okay, but you will call me back, right?" There was an uncomfortable silence as Artemis and Butler looked at each other. "Dom?"

"Bye Jules," Butler muttered as he picked the phone.

"Good bye, Juliet" Artemis said before Butler could shut the phone.

"Dom! Artemis! Wait-" Butler shut his phone with a snap. Artemis looked down guiltily. Silence echoed throughout the car as they passed light poles that stood along the highway.

"Artemis, you should lay down," Butler sighed.

Artemis frowned. "That's going to be a bit hard." He looked over his shoulder, glancing at his back. Or, more specifically, the large bulges under his jacket that was stopping him from lying down on his back.

"Sleep on your stomach." After seeing Artemis' look he said: "If you're tired enough you can fall asleep almost anywhere. Now lay down."

Artemis was still frowning but he did lie down, pulling the pillow under him, and the blanket on top of him while doing so. In a matter of seconds his breathing slowed and his eyes closed.

Butler gave a small chuckle, and then frowned. They'd been through a lot throughout the last few days. How on Earth were they spose to go back to their original lives after what happened? Especially Artemis. Whatever they did to him made couldn't been undone. Also it seemed to have screwed up his vision, but thankfully it was slowly returning.

Butler let his mind wander for a few minutes, while watching the road. He had failed. He didn't protect his charge, and now they both were paying the price.

**55555**

Foaly was working overtime. It wasn't normal for him, but his wife was in a mood. It almost reminded him of the time he had almost burned down the kitchen. But this time he had no idea what he did. He was a genius, and he still had trouble understanding women. Foaly sighed loudly.

_What am I spose to do?" _he thought to himself. He looked around for something that he hadn't already done five times. He sighed and leaned back in his rolling chair. Nothing to do.

Then the alarm sounded. Foaly almost smiled. When he was at his most bored the humans came and got things exciting. Then again it happened when he was busy too, but then just makes him mad. Foaly rolled over to the computer and listened to the phone call.

_"Dom! What the Hell? I've got Angeline calling me in the middle of the night asking if I've seen you guys! She sounds hysterical! What the Hell is going on?" _Isn't Artemis' mom's name Angeline? And why did the voice sound like Juliet?

Foaly continued to listen. He was amazed at all the stuff that came up, even his own name! Or at least he would be if he didn't know that it was the Fowls talking to each other. A whole family that knew about the fairies. Unheard of until now.

But something was bothering him. Was it the guilt in Artemis' voice, the brashness in Butler's, or the panic in Juliet's? Something was up.

_What else was new?_

**55555**

Artemis watched the sun come up over the horizon. He almost got no sleep last night. He sat up, no longer wishing to pretend.

"You're awake," Butler said. It wasn't a question, so Artemis didn't answer. Artemis sat up and looked at his bodyguard. The Eurasian's eyes were weary. He looked like he was going to fall asleep at the wheel.

"We need to stop," Artemis announced. "Find the closest and quietest inn nearby."

Butler snorted. "We both know that I won't fall asleep."

"Yes, but if we get into a fight you wouldn't do as well. And I can't drive."

Butler thought about it for a while, and sighed. Like usual Artemis was right. As he pulled off the highway he muttered under his breath.

"The highest tested IQ in Europe and you can't drive a car?"

Artemis shrugged, not really holding the fact against himself. "I've never needed to. Plus I can fly a plane. How many teenagers can do that?"

"Juliet."

"_Normal _teenagers."

Butler finally relented. "Not many."

Artemis smiled in triumph.

**55555**

Foaly smiled in triumph.

A few hours ago he had tried to tap into Artemis' phone, but he finally gave up and started in on the house line. He had just gotten in, and was about to listen to the Artemis and his Mothers' conversation. For a minute he hesitated. If he had a privet message with his mother than he wouldn't want people to listen to it. Then he remembered all the gold Artemis can cost him over the years. He pressed the button.

Foaly's smiled quickly faded as he listened to the message. In the first few seconds he had gotten a few good clues. First: Artemis had been missing, _again_, for a month and a half. Second: His family had no idea where he was, if Mrs. Fowl's panicky voice spoke for the family. Third: Butler was with him, and had gone missing too. Forth: He couldn't come home.

The last clue came at the end of the message. It made Foaly's mane stand on end and sent a cold shiver down his back. He called Angeline_ "Mum"_! Artemis only did this when his mother asked.

"D'Arvit Artemis, what did you do?"

**55555**

**This is my first Artemis Fowl Fanfic. Please Read and Review. I will not post until I get at least one Review! Are the characters in character? What about Artemis cross dressing? To over the top? Also why do you think Cabelline is mad at Foaly? What do you think Artemis did? Or didn't do?**


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't own Artemis Fowl. But characters that aren't part of the Artemis Fowl series are mine, so please don't use them without asking first. Thank you. _

Artemis shifted in this seat. He was sitting in the passenger seat, which was new for him. Butler had convinced him that older teenagers sit in the front seat while the younger ones sit in the back. He had protested at first, but eventually Butler had convinced him that is would be more convincing.

It was early in the morning; he would have to estimate about seven o'clock. They had been looking for a place to sleep, but anyplace they came to Butler would refuse.

"I think that I've found one," Butler said without looking from the road. Artemis lifted his head off of his fist. They had been looking for _hours._ Artemis was _tired_. At first he had been doing mathematical equations to keep his mind sharp, but after a while the numbers melted together. Even his mind got a bit soft after almost three day without sleep, plus he was still recovering.

"Where?" Artemis mumbled. He could feel Butler's eyes on him, but he didn't care. He couldn't remember ever being as tired as this. The Fowl boy eyes were half closed, and the road was a blur. Of course that could also be the fact that now he couldn't see two feet in front of his face now, but surely lack of sleep was an adding factor.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a massive blurred arm point. Artemis followed Butler's arm as best he could. Eventually his eyes stopped at a sign. Artemis squinted his eyes, but he couldn't make out the words.

"It says 'Bern's Family Inn'," Butler said quietly. Artemis looked at his bodyguard. He blamed himself for what happened to them. Butler saw him looking.

"You should fire me."

Artemis shook his head. "I might as well start digging my own grave if I do that."

"I let this happen."

Artemis straightened the light jacket that he was wearing. "That implies a choice. Did you choose to let us get captured?"

"No. I-"

Artemis interrupted him. "Did you choose to get knocked out?"

"No."

"Did you choose to let them experiment on us?"

Butler was quiet for a while. Not from debating the answer, but from remembering what they did to them. Artemis sat there pushing the memories from his mind. Not very healthy, but he was half asleep, and couldn't deal with it at the moment.

"No."

Artemis looked at his bodyguard. "This wasn't your fault, no more than it was mine. We are the victims. You got us out alive, Butler. We are no longer there. As Juliet would say: 'You saved the day'."

They were quiet for a while longer. Butler pulled into the road that the Inn was on.

"I don't like being a victim," Butler admitted.

Artemis sighed. "I don't either. I'd much rather be the victor."

Butler pulled into a parking spot near the Inn. "Was that a joke, Raven?"

Artemis recognized the name they had come up with for him. He let himself out of the car, which was also new for him. "Why would I joke about something like that, Dad?"

Butler gave a comedic sigh of relief as he got out of the car. "Good. If that was a joke I might have had to ground you."

Artemis scowled as he grabbed his bag out of the back seat. "I'm not funny. I get it."

Butler's grin didn't disappear as he grabbed his own bag. "Sorry. I didn't mean to _ruffle your feathers_.

Artemis' scowl became even more pronounced. "Maybe I should fire you just so you could pursue your dream job as a comedian."

Butler's smile didn't waver in the slightest. "Like you said, you'd have to dig your own grave first."

Artemis opened his mouth to retort something but something stopped him. He felt a small tug on the right side of his brain, and what he felt seemed to be the feeling a bird gets when it's let out of the cage: complete and total freedom.

From the look on Butler's face Artemis deuced that he had felt it too. Artemis looked to his right to see that the tug and the feeling had come from the family that had just pulled up, or more specifically, the girl about his age standing there.

The girl was pale, with short cropped jet black hair and light blue eyes. She was wearing black leather pants and a long sleeve shirt. She was looking at them.

_Angelweather_

Artemis blinked. The word had come directly into his mind. He looked at Butler, who looked like he had shared the experience.

The girl was still looking at them, and she was smiling a sad smile. Butler had put himself in between Artemis and the girl, but if she could control their minds then that wouldn't be enough.

"Charlotte! Come on, it's time to check in," a man that Artemis assumed to be the father called out to her. Charlotte looked at them one last time before going after her parents.

"We should leave," Butler commented.

Artemis curled his hands into tight balls. "We have been up all night. We are staying. We are sleeping in beds. We are taking showers. We are eating _real_ food." Artemis literally stomped up to the Inn. Butler blinked twice and followed.

Foaly frowned at his computer. He was looking for Artemis, or at least where Artemis was. He hadn't thought that he would find much, but he thought he could find _something_. Even Butler got caught on random cameras sometimes. He was running Artemis' pictures though the computer to match against local and private cameras in Ireland. If they didn't show up in Ireland then he would switch it to worldwide.

"Foaly! What do you think you're doing?"

Foaly swallowed a bit and turned around. Commander Kelp was walking towards him. He was angry, very angry.

"Artemis is missing again, and this time we don't know what he's doing. I have nothing to do, so I thought I could find him."

Kelp was steaming. "We have better thing to do than babysit Fowl."

Foaly rolled his eyes. "Like? I have nothing better to do. Both Opals are in jail, street crime is at a new low. All thanks for me."

Kelp rolled his eyes. "Yes, and the hundreds of police officers had nothing to do with it."

Foaly opened his mouth to say something but the computer beeped before he could. Foaly turned back to the computer.

"The last sighting of Artemis was over a mouth and a half ago in Berlin. Here, I got the video."

Before Kelp could say anything Foaly hit play.

"Black and white? The great Foaly has really out done himself." Kelp asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's an old camera," Foaly protested.

On the camera it was raining. Suddenly a dozen and a half men walking into the picture caring an unconscious Butler.

"D'Arvit," Kelp whispered. Foaly didn't say anything. After all what more could be said?

A truck pulled up and they loaded Butler into it. Artemis was literally pulled into the frame. Two armed men were holding his arms and leading him towards the truck. A man, obviously the leader, stood behind Artemis. They couldn't hear him, but it looked like the leader was talking to Artemis. Suddenly Artemis spun and said something to the man. It must have struck a chord, as the man lifted his hand and hit Artemis across the face. Trouble's eyes went wide and Foaly let out a surprised whinny. Artemis dropped to his knees like a sack of rocks and touched his cheek. Artemis said something else to the man, but he seemed to be beyond anger. He kicked Artemis in the ribs. There was something demining about watching Artemis grab his side as he lay on the ground. Like watching someone kick a dog. The leader waved his hand and Artemis was literally thrown into the back of the truck. They closed the doors and drove away.

Foaly and Kelp watched the screen without blinking. Finally Foaly turned to Kelp.

"Holly needs to know."

Kelp frowned. "My police force isn't Artemis Fowl's babysitters. I thought that I already said that. We have better things to do." He turned towards the door.

"He's helped us in the past," Foaly called after him.

Kelp turned to the centaur. "He is the reason that two of our best officers are dead."

"He had nothing to do with that! Root and Vinyáya were doing their jobs!"

"My word is final!" Kelp marched to the door.

"Holly is never going to forgive you if Artemis dies."

Kelp's hand paused on the door. "It's about time she got over the mud whelp." And with that he walked through the door.

Foaly sighed. "That could have gone better." He put his hands behind him, which accedently hit a button.

'_Video Sent'._ Foaly's eyes went wide as he heard the computer talk.

"Sent to whom?" Foaly asked, but he already had a good idea to whom.

'_Captain Holly Short'._

Foaly rubbed his eyes with his hands. "I am so fired."

Webs felt her skin moving under her clothes. Of course that was normal, it has been normal ever since _they_ took her. They took them and made them freaks, and why? No one knew, and now there were two more experiments.

Webs thought back to the two males. The smaller looked a bit younger that her, and the taller one was almost seven feet tall. She stepped towards the bathroom of the room that she and her parents were sharing.

"Charlotte, where are you going?"

Charlotte, god what a revolting name. What on Earth had possessed her parents to name her Charlotte?

"Just going to the bathroom, Mom." They had kept a close eye on her ever since she returned. They thought that she had run away, instead of being kidnapped.

After she locked the door to the bathroom she took of her shirt. Tattoos spread across her torso, some even layered on top of each other. Webs searched her front and back, hoping that she found it quickly.

A mystic looking eye with long black eyelashes and purple eye shadow rested just under her bust. Webs tapped the eye, and her skin came to life.

The snake on her arm slithered up and across her neck, the dragon on her back breathed fire at a tiger, who intern growled at it. A raven flew across her stomach and a fish swam across her collar bone.

Webs brought the eye up to the middle of her forehead, and touched said forehead to the wall. Webs closed her eyes and sat down on the toilet, willing the eye tattoo to move and down the wall, which it did.

She saw herself sitting on the toilet. The tiger was chasing the dragon across her hip now.

They eye traveled through the walls of the inn until she saw who she was looking for: one of the two freshbirds.

He stood in the bathroom, with his shirt off. He was still wearing the skinny jeans and ballerina flats. He was staring at himself in the mirror.

"I've _shrunken!_" he almost yelled.

The larger one barged into the bathroom. "Artemis!"

Artemis looked at the larger one with wide eyes. "Butler, I've shrunken. At least a foot." He looked at himself in the mirror. "And I wasn't that tall to begin with."

Butler rolled his eyes. "You could have mentioned your hair, your eyes, or... you know," Butler said gesturing to Artemis' back. "But instead you mention your height."

"You're almost seven feet tall. Of course height doesn't matter to you."

Butler snorted. "Of course it does. No one takes small people seriously."

Artemis groaned and dropped his head into his hand. Peeking out between his fingers he spun so he could see himself sideways.

Webs gasped, and it brought her out of trance. She looked at herself in the mirror to see it the eye had returned to her, which it had.

He was Artemis Fowl the Second, the boy who had disappeared for three years not too long ago. They took Artemis Fowl the Second, heir to the largest criminal empire in fifty years, and gave him _wings!?_

"Oh, there is going to be Hell to pay," Webs said shaking her head as she put her shirt back on.

Captain Holly Short almost ran into Foaly when she got to the Opts booth, with Mulch in her tow.

"Foaly, what was that," she asked with a dangerous look in her eyes. Foaly thought carefully before answering.

"I received a phone call that had some major key words in it. With a bit of digging I discovered that it was from Juliet to Artemis and Butler, and after some more digging I found one with Artemis talking to his mother. Holly you have to hear this." and he played the audio for both calls for them.

Both listened, not really saying much. After words Holly groaned.

"Great. So what has Artemis done this time?"

Foaly shrugged. "I've looked over as much information as I can without Kelp's permission, and I can't find anything."

"Then get Kelp's permission!"

"Already asked. He said no."

Mulch raised his hand. "Why don't you just go topside and look for him?"

Foaly rubbed his long face with his hands. "Did you just suggest that we steal a pod, go topside, and talk to a family member of one of the biggest criminals in fairy history?"

"You talk like we haven't done that before. Got anything to eat?"

**God, this took forever, and it isn't even that good. I promise the next chapter will be better. Sorry, for the last few months I was working on my Soul Eater fanfics, BeWitching and School Days. I have a habit to just work on one thing for a while, which is why my Hellboy stories have gone un-updated for so long.**

**Please review, I love reviews. If you wish to yell at me because this took so long, please tone it down. I have a very delicate self-esteem**

**Abesgoldenfriend**


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